You crazy pregnant lady, no one stole your make-up!

Well, I know I haven’t blogged in a while and you all are in desperate need of crazy pregnant ramblings so here you go. I know that these blogs are open to the whole wide world (isn’t that what WWW. stands for?) to read, but I like to write this stuff for myself. Since I have acquired the disease of pregnancy insanity, I will lay awake at night thinking crazy thoughts and dreaming about nonsense. I guess it just helps to write it down and be done with it rather than let it drive me crazy for hours each night. Here are some of the more serious things I have been pondering lately.

Just because my pregnancy hasn’t been a time full of rainbows and unicorns doesn’t mean I’m a terrible woman or am going to be a horrible mother. I think a lot of the stress has come from me and the expectations I put on myself. I always thought that there couldn’t be a more happy time than when you are pregnant. But I have found it to be scary, overwhelming, and isolating. In the beginning, I worried non-stop about the health of the baby. I prepared myself for the news that I would lose the baby even when the doctors were telling me the contrary. I was so filled with fear that I didn’t even tell those people that love me and want the best for me that I was pregnant for a long time. I suffered from terrible morning sickness but irrationally thought that I had to hide it from them so that they wouldn’t worry and I wouldn’t hurt them by losing another baby. I feel now that this secrecy among other things isolated me from my friends and family. The overwhelming part came when I realized that this is actually going to happen and I don’t think that I am ready. But who is really ever ready? We wanted this baby, we planned and prayed for this baby, and we have built a loving home and marriage over the past seven years in which to nurture and raise this baby. But are we ready? Of course not! We’ve never had a child before and we really have no idea what we are in for. But I think I have come to the conclusion that I don’t care anymore what pregnancy is supposed to look like, my reality is what it is. Crazy or not, hormonal or not, ridiculous or not, I am going to enjoy this time. I have probably cried more in the past 6 months than I did in my first 6 months of life. But I have also laughed harder and more than any other time in my life. It is the big belly laughs that I can’t control and my face gets red and my stomach muscles start to hurt so I have to try to stop myself from laughing. It is really bad when I am by myself at work and this happens. I going to stop telling myself that I am just being stupid when I get hormonal, I’m going to trust in God more and stop trying to control everything that overwhelms me, I’m going to stop being frustrated with myself when I am too tired to stay up with friends on the weekend, I’m not going to be ashamed of rubbing my belly like an old beer-bellied man in public, I’m not going to be embarrassed about how many times I have to use the restroom during one hour long meeting, and I am going to gain as much weight as I want to!

Luckily, I have a husband who loves me in spite of me and because of me. We’ve always had a relationship with each other where we can look beyond what others can’t. Even with his warts and all, I thank God that he gave me a perfect match in Jimmy. I love him more than the day we were married, more than a year ago, more than a month ago. I want to be around him and miss him when he is not around. I hate girl’s night out and will rarely go somewhere that Jimmy isn’t invited. It might sound clingy and overbearing but I’m pretty sure he feels that same way about me (and the dog). It works for us! We are best friends (I still love you Becky) and that is how I envisioned marriage to be. Now that I am crazy, he has actually been pretty cool with it. I guess men really are attracted to crazy women. We haven’t seen eye to eye every time on the furniture and the baby room but he does his fair share of the cooking and cleaning and supports me in my bout with insanity, so I have very little to complain about right now. Oh, and I don’t think he has said anything that slightly resembles moo in a long time so I haven’t had to plot ways to kill him in awhile.

Now for some examples of craziness:

I have been getting a kick out of watching funny youtube videos lately. I checked this one out and found it fantastic.

I especially like the part when he tells the drunkard “you’ve got to stop doing this” as if he was doing it on purpose. So I sent the link to Jimmy for his viewing pleasure and asked him what he thought about it later that day. Just by bringing up the subject I started to laugh uncontrollably. He apparently did not find the humor in the video and simply told me that it was an old video that he had seen before and it wasn’t that funny. I finished my laughing fit and found something else to talk about but later that night I found myself pondering for the majority of an hour t.v. show how he couldn’t think it was funny. Seriously, it is hilarious. What is wrong with him and what exact part of that video isn’t funny? How could I be married to someone who didn’t think it was funny? For real, 45 minutes, this is what I thought about.

We went to another outstanding Third Day concert a couple of weeks ago and wore our Gomer fan club T-shirts. We even got to go backstage and meet the guys after the concert. When they asked us if we had anything we would like signed, Jimmy rationally pulled out the new Third Day CD and had them sign it. I could not follow along with acting like a normal person in front of these rock stars so I asked them to sign my baby bump. My thinking was that this was the babies 2nd Third Day concert and I know it is already a fan. They all signed the bump on my shirt of course but out of about 50 fans I think I had the craziest request.

I often wake up in the middle of the night sweating so much that I think sometimes that I may have wet the bed. I get so hot that nothing can soothe me. By the way, Jimmy is usually freezing; it is only me who thinks it is hotter than Fourth of July in my house. So if you come to my house on any given night around 2:30am you may find me standing in the garage in a T-shirt and underwear trying to cool my body off. But you would have to turn the lights on to see me because I stand in the dark as to not wake me up too much!

My paranoia has gotten the best of me. I usually put my makeup on in the car as Jimmy drives us to work every morning and more often than not I just leave my makeup bag in the car. One day last week, I went to get my makeup out of the car and noticed that it was not in the front seat where I had left it. I reached under the seat, looked in the back, and then accused Jimmy of intentionally hiding it from me after he had dropped me off in the morning. I think he heard his name being used in a not so loving way and so came to the garage to find out how he could help (yeah right). After almost convincing me that he did not hide it from me as a not so funny joke I realized that it must have been stolen because everyone wants used makeup out of a stranger’s car. I resigned to the fact that it had been stolen but was pondering how someone got into the car through locked doors and without breaking a window. I muttered something about buying all new makeup when Jimmy finally snapped me out of it by saying “You crazy pregnant lady, no one stole your make-up!” Immediately following, I found my makeup under the seat of the car where I had already looked.

Here are some doctor appointment updates for those of you that I have been too lazy to get a hold of. At the 6 month check-up I gained 8lbs in one month. Dr. lectured me, I cried, she was not phased by tears; I decided to watch what I was eating. My sugar levels in my blood came back too high, they tested me for gestational diabetes, but I passed. Baby’s heart rate was 148. My insurance provider and hospital had a sissy fight and I got to stress out for a month; they resolved their squabble; everything is back on track. At the 7 month check up I was informed that I am starting to go every two weeks. The doctor is concerned that my sugar levels are still high. Although my tests came back negative for gestational diabetes and there has been no sugar in my pee, she is considering me high risk and has requested that at my bi-weekly and then weekly appointments I do the hour long ultrasound bio-physical test. Bad news – she called me high risk, good news- I get to see my baby every week, bad news- I might find out what the sex of the baby is if I am seeing it so often, good news- who cares I get to see my baby every week! I lost two pounds this month. Last month I got a lecture, this month “I see that you lost a couple pounds which is, whatever.” Come on I deserve a pat on the back at least. All I get is a shot in the butt because I am RH-. So now I have gained 10 pounds with this pregnancy, but they only want me to gain 15 altogether. Blood pressure is good, pee test is good, and weight is ok. Baby’s heart rate was 146. My next appointment is a week from tomorrow. I will try to up date more after that.

For now, I will leave you with a few videos that seemed to make me laugh so hard that I cried. At risk of me ending up on strong anti-depressants you better find them funny too!

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3 Responses to “You crazy pregnant lady, no one stole your make-up!”

  1. WHAT? No comments?! Come on, how can you read this and NOT comment?
    I just saw this for the first time today (my computer at home evidently doesnt like your blog…) and I LOVE IT!!!! You are so smart, Angi, and I love that you are resolved to give up what we think of as perfect and live the way you live. The two of us have never really been ‘those perfect girls’ but we are a hell of a lot of fun and that is always more important. You are going to be a FANTASTIC mommy if for nothing else just because you love that baby more than anything. Who else would you let kick you daily and not kick them back? You are stronger than you know and looking at life with a sense of humor is a very, very good thing when you are in a situation you cannot control. Sorry to put this where everyone can see it, but I was overwhelmed by your blog and wanted to share how much I love you with everyone else!!!!
    You rock, mommy!

  2. Actually, I am not a crazy pregnant lady and someone HAS stolen my makeup out of the car. Twice. In less than 3 months. And last night, my car was locked. I have a Toyota Matrix and there are not many places makeup in my car could go. I am a crazy not pregnant lady because I did google “makeup stolen out of a car” and your blog came up. I thought it was a similar case. Glad you found yours. Sad that $200 or more of mine is gone though, most of which was gifts after mine was stolen the last time. I’m poor and can’t afford more now. Meh…

  3. […] And let’s not forget those moments when we turn on our husbands. Angela says she probably cried more in her first six months of pregnancy than she did in the first six months of her life. After watching a YouTube video she thought was hilarious she sent the link to her husband. Later that day she asked him what he thought and he told her it wasn’t that funny. This made her question their entire relationship. How could she be married to someone who didn’t think that was funny? Angela says she thought about that question for 45 minutes. Seriously, that’s nuts. And that’s just one of her crazy episodes, read about more in her post, You crazy pregnant lady, no one stole your make-up! […]

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