I am having a Skelator!

Well it is definitely a boy…no I’m just kidding. We stuck to our plan and didn’t find out the sex. We did have our ultrasound last Friday and yes, I am just now getting around to writing about it. I was excited all last week about seeing my baby since the last time I had an ultrasound was at 6 weeks. I’ll just be honest, at 6 weeks it looks kind of like a worm. Some women like to fool themselves and say they see the baby’s gigantic brain and four functioning limbs but at 6 weeks, it is a tadpole.

I woke up on Friday morning and the sun was shining, the husband wasn’t snoring, and I didn’t feel like a bloated moose trying to wrangle itself out of bed. The dog went to his private room without a fuss and we were off. But something happened to Jimmy’s driving skills. (For all of you laughing, I didn’t say they were great skills. I just said skills.) He pulled out of the driveway and let the clutch go so we shot forward and then some more jerking around happened but I just let it go because there was no need to nag on this wonderful day. He continued to drive, making more and more beginning driver’s moves but I kept my mouth shut. Then, out of nowhere, our car turned into the General Lee, otherwise known as the car from the Dukes of Hazard. Jimmy was racing around corners and swinging me from side to side. I’m surprised that he didn’t make me enter and exit the car through the window. In the greatest maneuver of the morning, Jimmy raced through an intersection and was going fast enough over a bump in the road that the car jumped into the air and landed 30 seconds later, no joke. At this I screamed out something that was half terror and half confusion. Jimmy nonchalantly looked at me and said “what?”, as if everyone was driving this way. I asked him in a calm manner if he was trying to kill me before we got to the doctor’s office. He said very simply, “I’m just trying to wake up the baby for the ultrasound.” And that, dear friends, is my husband… in a nutshell…because he is a nut.

So he did get me there in time for my appointment and there was very minimal time waiting so there was no chance of terrorizing any other women in the waiting room this time. Please reference last blog for explanation. The ultrasound went great. As soon as she put the wand on my belly she said in a surprised tone, “Oh it is jumping around”. Duh… uhuh, this is what I’ve been telling everyone for a month now. It moves, no, more accurately kicks and punches constantly. I don’t think that this baby sleeps. I was concentrating on the t.v. and not really what she was saying. At one point she was showing us the brain and the head and measuring everything. At this vision, horror struck deep in my heart, which caused me to say this, “Tell me the truth, is that a big head?” She  reassured me that it was a completely average sized head. But I didn’t believe her. She had already lied to me three times that day which I was still reeling over because now that I am pregnant I can’t seem to let things go. Because I have seen the ultrasound tech many times during my pregnancy, I knew that she was about seven months pregnant. So that morning I asked her if she gave herself ultrasounds all the time. She said no(LIE). I said “Are you sure?”, giving her a second chance to come clean. She again told me no(DOUBLE LIE). I told her that I would if I could, thus giving her the opportunity to feel like I wouldn’t judge her and that she could feel comfortable telling me the truth.She said nothing.(TRIPLE LIE by omission of course) So when she told me the head was of average and not body splitting size…I didn’t believe her. Even still I followed up with another question, “But is that a big brain?” Her response, “It is the biggest.”  Now that I believe, who would lie about the potentially smartest child you have ever scanned?

Everything she showed us was normal. Four chambers in the heart, working liver and pancreas, four limbs, and etc…The entire time it was punching and kicking like always. But it was cool to see it kick and feel it at the same time. At one point it was swallowing it’s amniotic fluid.She got some really good shots of the baby looking in the direction of the wand/camera. It really looks like it is waving and smiling. I think at that moment it was actually punching and smirking. The baby knows what it is doing…remember, it is the smartest baby to ever be made by two humans. The baby  looks similar to Skelator from HeMan but the face will hopefully fill out nicely by the end of January. On second thought, I might want to register for some baby masks. Skelators kind of creep people out even if you are the most brilliant baby to ever exist. The baby weighs 1.3 pounds and I only gained 2 pounds this month so I am still doing good. That makes a total of 4 pounds gained since I became pregnant. I don’t look like it or feel like it but it still made me fell better since I thought this was the month my doctor would look disgustedly at me like the gigantic moose that I am. I officially cannot fit into my pants anymore and last night I realized that I am growing out of my “those that should not be mentioned in a public forum.”

To see a few pictures go to Jimmy’s blog at www.jamescochran.org
I have so much more to update on including stinky feet, a soon to be protruding belly button, registering, baby expos, etc… but just to be pregnantly honest, I am tired of typing. I will certainly update you all soon on New York at least.  I also will be having three baby showers in November so if you are out of town or I don’t have your address just let me know and I will send you an invite. Don’t be shy, the whole world is invited to play silly games and buy this genius baby presents so please come. Oh and there will be a cake…shaped like a duck… it is going to be awesome!

P.S. I love the people at my doctor’s office(except for one lady) so please don’t tell the ultrasound tech that I called her a liar on my blog. That is how most Judge Judy cases start.

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One Response to “I am having a Skelator!”

  1. […] pictures though.  Maybe we should be a writing team  So check out her post “I am having a Skelator!” and learn all the details I wasn’t able to fill you in on because I’m just a […]

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