I now understand why pregnant women want to divorce their husbands.

I am now fully ready to admit at nearly 15 weeks pregnant that I am in fact insane. It seems so early to come to that determination, but my suspicion is that I have been insane from week 3 on. The night before I found out that I was pregnant I was seriously thinking about divorcing and then killing my husband because I was stuck in traffic. Then later decided to go to the opening night of Indiana Jones and squirm, complain, and nearly have an anxiety attack in the first half hour of the movie. Needless to say, this did not make sense to me at the time… now it does.

I am struggling right now a little bit because nobody ever told me of the insanity that really happens in your mind. I spent the first trimester puking constantly. I am happy to say that I am through the worst of it. But all of that mixed with this mental problem has got me thinking, how could I not have know that this disenchantment would happen. I do have a complete library of books as well as an amazing doctor and a multitude of women who tell me that they loved being pregnant. I am convinced that these women caught a case of amnesia after the delivery and remember only the first time they heard the heartbeat or felt the baby move. How else would God convince us to do this time and time again?

This blog is not for those women. It is for those of us who put on twenty pounds between the pregnancy test and the first doctor’s appointment. It is for those of us who get our first case of acne since high school. It is for those of us who have such bad digestion problems that we have considered never eating solid foods again. It is for those of us who have considered murdering our husbands in their sleep because we thought that we heard them say moo when we were getting dressed. It is for those of us who cry at every diaper commercial, beautiful song on the radio, passionate dance on So You Think You Can Dance, and when you finally realize that you are slowly growing out of every piece of clothing that you have ever loved. By the way I cried 4 different times yesterday all for different crazy reasons. Hey… but at least I’m not puking!

This is why you need girlfriends who will tell you this stuff. I feel like such a terrible pregnant woman for not being elated constantly at what is going on. Uh oh I think I may cry again. Ok no crying in baseball… no crying in baseball. I don’t have very many women in my life to keep me informed of the stuff that is not in the books and you are too afraid to ask the doctor about. So any advice or foreknowledge would be great. But I do appreciate all of my friends who don’t know what I am going through and still tolerate me. I know that I am snappy, and crabby, and whiney, and emotional, but most of all crazy. I do realize this but I really can’t do much to stop it. I know that if I acted like this when we met, we would not be friends right now. So I appreciate your friendship and support even though if I can’t tell you in person because I would cry … again. So I promise to have great girlfriend advice when this oh so traumatic time hits your life.

I feel so isolated because even though women go through this all the time I feel like no one knows how I feel. (more craziness) That is the worst part. Feeling alone. Feeling left out. Feeling scared. Feeling out of control. Feeling like a bad mother already. No one tells you this will happen.

So I am hoping that this surge of hormones will settle done soon. I think I’ve had more than I can handle. Please don’t get me wrong. I can’t wait to be a mother and see our baby. I guess this is just the initiation hazing for mothers. If I can’t survive this I’ll never survive the teenage years with my kids.

***Please disregard everything you have read above as I am mentally insane at the moment***

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25 Responses to “I now understand why pregnant women want to divorce their husbands.”

  1. WOW! This is me! I really thought I was alone, I still feel alone but yet I know I am not. I know that I an CRAZY and I try really hard not to be.

    Thank you for writing this!

  2. Thank you THANK you for posting your insane ramblings. I have been feeling really alone too… which is weird because I have the constant company of my own insane ramblings and a baby in my tummy. In between that and the intense rage I often feel toward my husband lately, I feel like I’m going crazy, too. I have wondered often lately why we got married at all, and then the next minute I just want to be near him because I get this huge rush of affection for him. Thank GOD there are at least two others out there that are as nuts as I am!

  3. Yes. I hear you. I have had feelings of complete insanity as well while pregnant and I am only 11 weeks along. Although I have always wanted a child I am having difficulty feeling the joyous feeling I thought would accompany the pregnancy. I have had violent feelings toward my partner, who is in general very supportive, but I still have dreams I am asking him to leave and throwing food at him. Everything that bugged me about him before and all my fears of our relationship are magnified. Ugh! I often regret having stayed in the relationship and now I feel obligated because I am pregnant. My sex drive is off the hook and I feel upset that he rarely initiates sex. Mabey every two weeks. I find I like it every 3rd day and I start to feel undesirable, because I am 9 times out of ten the one who has to initiate. He smokes pot sometimes every day, but skips a few days here and there and says it throws off his sex drive which leads to my other annoying complaint.. I am sick of him being stoned. I feel done with the dopey eyes and the dreamy chatter, which is usually about what he is going to do. He is good around the house with cooking and laundry, which I realize I am very lucky in that department…..I feel done being angry, it’s exhausting but sometimes I can’t help it and what is behind the anger is a well of tears. I think over all I have a good guy but sometimes being alone, even while pregnant sounds so much easier and more peaceful.

  4. Well Dawn you explained my current life down to the very last line. I have the same kind of partner and feelings. I particularly dislike one of his friends which I feel like he is plotting with him behind my back all of the time. I wish I could explain to him why I love him, hate him , want to divorce him, and don’t trust him all at the same time. I feel as though it may be easier on him and on me to just split for awhile. I don’t want to be irrational, which I am sure I am being. This is our first pregnancy and while I am elated I still just can’t seem to shake some of my feelings. I am been angry at work and really want to scream at people in the grocery store! I am just counting down the days till I can be half way normal……moving to a secluded island for my remaining months sounds wonderful.

  5. Thank you so much for this blog! I can identify with everything you have said and of course while reading it I began to cry like the crazy woman I too have become.
    I feel guilty about sometimes not wanting my pregnancy. I keep hoping it will change, but no luck yet.

  6. I want to get a divorce almost every day and I am 30 weeks pregnant. I don’t like anything about my husband. He leaves every evening and has beers with the boys watching the game, whatever sport happens to be on. I hate him leaving and not spending time with me and I hate it when he’s with me and I wish he’d just leave. I am a freak and I am dramatic and off the hook pissed all the time. I don’t want to talk to any of my friends because I don’t have anything to say to them and I have no interest in what they are doing. I hate my life, I hate being pregnant and I hate that I hate everything all the time. I am exhausted and I don’t have any idea how to stop the insanity.

  7. So glad to come across this. All of my girlfriends recently had babies and I remember how they were excited at every little thing, from picking out onesies to sharing the news with strangers in restaurants.

    My husband and I wanted this little one so much and were elated to find out we were finally pregnant. But since then, we have both lost our minds. Every little thing makes me want to run screaming into the hills. Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing the U/S pictures and designing the nursery, but I don’t feel joyous every moment of every day. Rather, I feel like pulling my hair out and offering it to the hormone god to take aways these feelings.

    And, I don’t think it’s just us girls that go insane. Maybe it’s the pressure of losing their carefree life or having to share their wives with another human being, but the guys take their sanity down several notches too. I will swear on a stack of Bibles that my husband wasn’t half as selfish before pregnancy that he is now.

    I think premarital counseling is a good idea but not half as important as preconception counseling.

  8. Olivia,

    I just want to offer some encouragement to you. Like you, I was not elated during my pregnancies. Completely the opposite. But I have to tell you, the being a mommy-part is amazing. You will be surprised at how much you can possibly love another human being. And the elation that comes from the joy of being with your children will more than make up for the lack of it during your pregnancy. I’m not saying it will happen automatically or even within the first month. But you will know. There will be a day when you look at your child and even though there is a lot of stress, lack of sleep, and poop you won’t want to be absent for a moment of it. I completely agree with you about the preconception counseling. I adore my children but the way that my husband loves our children makes me love him even more than I did before.

  9. Thankyou for writing this. You took the words right out of my head, everything you said is exactly how I feel right now, i was crying the whole time i read this and i am crying now as i write this. Anyways it is good to know i am not alone and others actually feel as crazy as i do! I am on my 2nd Pg, 6 week along and a very long 8 months ahead of me. I do not know how i will survive.

  10. I actually found this because I irrationally googled “pregnant and want a divorce”. AND I meant it! …Until I read this blog. You just pulled me out of my crazy place. I laughed to tears over how ridiculous my thoughts have been. Thank you so much! :) I’m glad I’m not alone.
    Ps, I’m 15 weeks today.

  11. Wow…and I thought I was the only one. I am on my second pregnancy week 22. I’ve been married for then years. I am convinced of wanting a divorce. He is a great father to my son, but right now I feel so neglected. I feel he does not really care for this second baby in my womb. He never asks for details or even how I feel. Sometimes I ask for his hand so he too can feel the baby move and he looks annoyed. I feel so confused. I don’t know what to do. :(

  12. Hello my name is Rick I wish someone could help me with my wife. She is 6 months pregnant. I don’t understand since day 1 we have been together and I have always been there for her no matter what I’ve practically cater to her and I don’t regret that. Now we’re separated and she says she doesn’t love me, and wants a divorce. I’d hate her pregnancy to cause us to divorce,she hates that I text het to say I love her and want to work things out. Please anyone help me I love her and she’s the best. You can email me at garzaricardo476@yahoo.com

  13. hahaha, i love this. i just hate the fact that my husband sleeps so soundly, no matter how i explain he does not understand me. i also have nightmares and all sorts of terrible feelings, am 12weeks now and am only good at crying. this is my first pregnancy and i feel he doesnt care at all

  14. hey qirls i really feel the same… ihave change so much that i think my husband is getting tired of me … i call him evry minute idont trust him enimore it hurts to noe that im so annoyin to him… iwasent liek this, i cry evry second and i think im crazy .. i feel guilty sad and all i say is i hate been pregnant because his not with me.. he leaves in another country , and its more hard for me bevause all i want is to spend time with him and i cant .. im really scared that he gets tired of my bad words , ugly and annoying behave,.. but i love him so much as i hate him and idont want to loose him.. i really will like to noe how i can change this behavior..

  15. I am in the same situation. I believe my ex left me when she was 7 months pregnant to me because she didn’t intend to be with me for the rest of her life in the first place and she would have been making sure she spared the baby future heart ache and problems by leaving me when my child was a bit older say 5 or more years old and it was easier for her to feel less guilty leaving me before our child was born. I have reason to believe she was dating her ex a few months before she left me but she used him to help make sure she got rid of me, she done the same to 2 other men before me she is clearly not the settling down type and i thank god im out of her life because such a women is like a disease to a good genuine guy they walk all over you and accuse you of things you probibly didnt do and her real reason for it perhaps it actually been a case of her accussing you of the things that shes probibly done to you but needs to ease her guilt and attempts to puy you in a bad light to justify her disgracfull actions. See women who really love you wouldnt and couldnt do to you what yout ex is doing. Forget her fight for access to your kid, never jump into a relationship again take your time be patient keep the faith the right one for you is out there but you will never be with the right one whilst your chassing the wrong one wakey wakey you dodged a bullet be gratefull as some poor guy

  16. As some poor guy one day will be landed with her and their life is going to be crap as leopards don’t change their spots they are what they are as people and these women can’ t be changed they will go on into more relationships leaving a trail of destruction, be glad that isn’t your life cause who you live with and how they are as your partner becomes your life so choose wisely who you wish to be with except the things in life that you cannot change and try to understand everything happens for a reason whenever one door in your life closes many more then open dont think of all the negatives just concern yourself on how to turn as many of them round into positives. Put money away for your child and keep all lawyers letters as proof to your child that yoi done y
    pur best to get access to them thats you earned your respect and done all you could if you dont get to be there for your child just now atleast make sure your there when they come looking for you it matters 😉

  17. As for you ladies complaining about your selves and how annoying pregnacy can be its no reason to freak out on your guy if he ever freaks out on you in a simlar way you would be hard pressed to be sympothetic about it yet he’s to understand everything its completly unrealistic if he is a good partner why question him now as you surely had unprotected sex with him to get pregnant its not like he was forced not to use a condom he knows fine well what that can leed to and clearly he wants a baby to and still you ppush him away its not all about you he needs to adjust to becomming a dad thats stressfull keep it real the damb guys done what you wanted him to stick by him give him time ok he isnt being sick all the time ect but believe me if he is still with you thats proof he is interested and in love with you dont repay him with bullshit please

  18. Hey! I too feel like everyone on this blog who has commented. S. May, I even googled pregnant and want a divorce type search. I am very glad to know it’s not just me and it appears to happen to every woman who has been pregnant in her lifetime. I would cry at the drop of a hat, get upset out of nowhere, which this was mainly caused by my husband. And it seemed to be over the stupidest things that he would get upset. Like he is used to me getting up before him for work but lately I haven’t been getting up at that time, it has been later. So I suggest to get up before me and if I run out of hot water then I will wait to take a shower before work. Besides, my office is leinent (sp) with me so I am not concerned about going in later. Problem solved, right? You would think, but no, he wants to fuss and tell me I am putting him in a bad mood. So then I come to the question, then why did you marry me in the first place?!!? If I make you so upset?? (I am asking this to myself, not my husband.) I am like most of you I think, sometimes it would be easier to just be by myself and alone so I won’t have to worry about anyone getting upset with me, and in turn would not make me upset to think these things, right?

  19. This blog has really giving relief. I’m pregnant of twins with 20 weeks. I’m not married but I recently moved with my boyfriend. When I first find out that I was pregnant I didn’t want anything to do with him I pushed him away and even told him I didn’t want anything to do with him.
    As time went on, he gain my trust and I decided to move with him and things were going great, peaceful and sex was there too. But lately I get angry at him more often, but now is more aggressive my reaction at him. I feel terrible not because of him but for my babies I carry inside. I know they can hear me now and I don’t want them to feel that their mom is a crazy hysterical woman. He’s being very patience and when I get off my bad moods we talk and he understand. I’m just so afraid of me and when I start feeling angry is like I can’t stop… I have to keep going until I get my point across. I know that pregnancy make women crazy with the hormones but in a way I feel that depends on your own state of mind and how far are willing to go with our anger. Is a huge change in a woman’s body and if you always been they kind of person who’s independent and single, is even more traumatic.
    I thank all the women that have post their feelings in this blog, not only because it make me feel better about my behavior but for expressing and sharing some part of this wonderful journey that is often not talk much.
    Thank you.

  20. Oh dear Lord! Thank God I’m not the only one! I am only 8 weeks and I feel like I am absolutely going bonkers! It’s like at one minute I can’t stand my husband and the next I am wanting to be all over him. I feel like I am freaking bipolar! Me finding out I was pregnant just sort of made everything click in my head though and now I understand why all of a sudden I hated my husband because of his job with him being in the military and working three days straight and then coming home to me for 5. I hated every little thing until I saw him walk through the door the day he would come home. I got so happy and I would cry and feel overwhelmed at the same time. I laugh at almost everything right now. I could watch someone crying on tv and just be sitting there busting out laughing and not even know why.

  21. I wish to thank you ladies for helping me out. My wife is 7.5 months and she can’t stand me. She tells me every single day she hates me with every ounce of her blood and that I am the worst mistake she ever made. I do the best that I can by her. She is not able to work so I work 7 days a week and when I am not working to make ends meet I am working on our house to get things ready for our baby. I really can not say anything about pregnancy because I don’t know what it is like. I know that I love this woman more than anything and would do anything for her and it hurts me to be told that every single day. I thank you for sharing your thoughts because it has really helped me to understand that my wife is not the only one feeling this way. I just wish I could let her know that she is not alone.

  22. Thank you all for this…I needed to hear this. I am 6 weeks pregnant after having lost my 1 month old son in January. I am going through many changes and its driving me crazy. I am constantly frustrated with my kids and angry at my husbancf. I try to tell myself that it will get better. My husband doesnt understand me and has threatened to divorce me several times. We make-up and then before we know it we are arguing again. I feel so alone and wish these feelings of anger and hatred go away. Does anyone know how to cope with all this? What can I do to help my husband understand me?

  23. I am 13 weeks and spent my first trimester as an evil basketcase of insanity as well. I haven’t hated my boyfriend, yet….but I have told him about 4-5 times a week “you can’t say anything, you don’t know what this feels like!!” I think I scare him….a lot. Have any of you ladies ever seen “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” the film? It’s funny because my boyfriend and I watched it together before we even knew we were pregnant….and Elizabeth Banks gives a speech towards the end that I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND now. She rambles on about “I know people say pregnancy is beautiful and amazing and blah blah….but it’s not ladies, it f***ing sucks!” And she gives such a REAL life account of how emotionally and physically changing and DRAINING this process is…and I think it’s awesome. I hope the next 5 1/2 months go by easier and a little more sanely…but who knows. I think I’m already partially crazy non-pregnant, so I should’ve known these raging hormones would’ve sent me into overdrive. I am glad to know that other people feel this way, though. It’s a small breath of normalcy in this totally abnormal process.

    & Leroy….your wife will know and realize and understand fully how much you do for her eventually. But yes, it truly is a process that makes you feel completely unlike your normal self…things you can not control end up spewing out of your mouth and feelings you’ve never felt pop up out of nowhere. But I can attest to the fact that most of it truly is uncontrollable at the time. Good luck!

  24. I’m so glad I’m not the only one! I also googled ’10 weeks pregnant and I want to divorce my husband’ and found this!
    I’m in a different state than my husband, I keep accusing him of throwing me and his unborn baby away, feels like it! I’ve even had him in tears a few times, yes my hormones can make a man cry, how powerful! I miss him yet I plan how to kill him! How terrible and crazy I am!! I could never kill an insect ….
    I don’t know how to stop the water works, my eyes feel sore and dry everyday! My husband can say one thing wrong and I start crying, then mood swing kicks in and I’m ready to pounce on him for making me cry in the first place and the. Divorce gets mentioned and goodbyes are said! I feel like a crazy women, I’m so glad to read that it’s the hormones and not me actually going crazy!

  25. I too came across this site,because i googled pregnant n want a divorce,THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS i felt like i was the only one,my husband doesn’t want to be around me,and when he’s alone tells his friends he is loving it,saw that text this morning,friend says,been rough hash? He says yea but don’t have to be home for a while…..that hurt ;( i cried cause im crazy i guess….i hate this.i don’t even blame him for not wanting to be around me,i don’t wanna be around me either.in only 10 weeks n if it doesn’t get any better soon i believe i will do something rash

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