10 Signs That You Have Mommy Brain

1.  Ever since having a baby, when calling people and pets by their names, your accuracy has been way off.  Honestly, you don’t even realize you are calling people by the wrong name until it is pointed out to you. Even then, you argue that the persons’ name really should be whatever you called them just to save your own behind.

2. You start out just talking to the baby about changing diapers while doing so, but before you know it, you have begun creating and singing a song about poo cleaners with a three part hamony all the while using a rattle as a music directors’ batton.

3. While getting out of the car at work, you realize that you are wearing your ragged old slippers. This isn’t the bad part. You actually intended to wear your slippers while getting ready and dropping off the baby at the sitters. What you did not intend to do however, is leave your work high heels, which you intended to change in to,  in the diaper bag at the sitters.  Then you yell out(in the middle of a busy parking lot) in anger and frustration at your mommy brain, ” This is going to be a GREAT day!!”

4.  You start to make up your own words. You even really go for trying to sell it when told that your word is not really a word. Unfortunately, the ability to  pull up a dictionary on any internet connected computer has hampered your scheme. Words like disorganized really don’t mean to have your organs taken out and skeetershoes is not a endearing term and you should really stay away from being filered. You are  still not sure what it means, but gosh dern, it really makes people mad!

5.You leave the house and you are only carrying your purse and you have put your makeup on before leaving the house.  *If this happened to you this morning, please turn off your computer, drive home, and GET YOUR BABY! You might also need 4 tons of baby luggage and a good spanking!*

6. When you are at work, you often catch yourself  stopping what you are doing and wondering why you haven’t heard the baby cry in awhile.

7. You’ve decided that you can sing the alphabet in any order that you want, and often do! Sometimes you even add in numbers. Let people think whatever they want, the baby likes it.  And you will have plenty of time to teach him the right way before Pre-School. Or maybe this really is the right way…

8. You come out of a restaurant in the middle of the day and see your driver side door standing wide open. You immediately yell out that there has been a robbery in the parking lot. After examining the car, which is in the spot right in front of the door, in the middle of the day, and finding that nothing has been taken from your car, you begin to think that there is a good chance that you might have just left the door open because you had your hands full and the door just happened to take last priority. But of course, you will never admit it to the group of friends who were there and saw your accusation filled outburst.

9. You walk out of a busy clothing store with your purse, baby stroller, and merchandise that you did not pay for. You turn around because you realize that the person you were shopping with is not following you to the car. When you look back, an expression of sheer confusion and disbelief is spread across your fellow shoppers’ face. You really don’t have a clue that you are about to be classified as a shoplifter so you yell back at  that person,”Come on, lets go!”  They continue to stare at you until you finally come to the realization that you are in fact attempting to steal your babies first Easter outfit. You promptly return to the scene of the crime.

*Sign #10 actually happened to me last night and became the motivation behind this entire post. I used to become so annoyed when I saw other people doing this and wondered what would drive someone to act in that manner. I now realize it is the pure desire to see your baby smile and the lack of giving a crap about what anyone other than your baby thinks. *

10. Whenever you go shopping, you constantly run into aisle fixtures, clothing racks, and old people because you are busy trying to make the baby smile. You would rather talk to the baby than watch where you are going in hopes that a silly face will bring about one giggle. You even ask for the baby’s opinion when trying on sunglasses and when leaving the store you tell the baby to say goodbye.

I will leave you with this picture, and yes, he is milkdrunk.

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4 Responses to “10 Signs That You Have Mommy Brain”

  1. So cute Angi, now you’re starting to get it… and he’s only how old?!?

  2. I am in tears, I am laughing so hard. I especially love #10!

  3. […] I reread my baby books, because I can’t remember what I should expect next for my baby daughter (mommy brain strikes again). There are always new warnings being posted about food allergies, vaccines, toy and equipment […]

  4. I found your blog on Google. I’ve bookmarked it and will watch out for your next blog post.

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